The Monster Squad (1987) - Movie Review

The Monster Squad (1987) - Movie Review

I find it only fitting for me to review the fast becoming cult classic, The Monster Squad today as one of the first movie reviews on my blog. As most of you will be aware, the catchphrase "Wolfman's got nards!" wasn't some weird phrase I made up on my own, as if I had a fetish for the wolfman's balls. No no, it was the most famous line in the movie, The Monster Squad. It was famously said by the character Horace as the kids were struggling to escape the evil clutches of Count Dracula, Wolfman and some other creatures.

The Monster Squad was directed by Fred Dekker and written by Shane Black. Firstly, I will start off with the storyline. I feel I want to just tell all as most people would have seen the movie by now (and if not, where the hell have you been?) but for those who have not seen it, I hope this review helps you decide whether to see it or not. This was the very first time any Hollywood movie could really use the term 'Cinematic Universe'. The movie had all the famous monsters from the Universal Universe. It had Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, The Mummy, Wolfman, the swamp creature known as Gillman, Dracula's brides and the famous vampire hunter, Van Helsing.

In the beginning, Van Helsing was battling Dracula and semi-succeeded with the help of a mysterious orb called The Amulet. Fast forward to modern day America, 1987. We have a group of kids around 13 years old, with the exception of a Eugene and Phoebe who are much younger. The kids in this movie are much more realistic than the kids in The Goonies. This isn't the first time you'll read about both movies being compared and it won't be the last.

Both The Monster Squad and The Goonies came out in the mid 80s and both had similar storylines. Only, one bunch of kids had potty mouths and battled monsters. The kids in this movie were much more grounded and closer to the reality of kids in the 80s. They swore and they got up to more than just childish mischief. This is an element I love about the movie. In particular, I love Rudy, the cool kid in school that most kids fear, yet respect. He is fair and won't stand for bullying. The rest of the kids were typically cast. The leader, the sidekick, the fat kid, the annoying sister, the bully and let's not forget, the hot older sister!

Now onto the monsters. You would think for such a cheesy movie, the monsters would be equally as cheesy. You would be wrong for thinking that. Dracula is pretty badass and is not afraid to do what needs to be done. Wolfman was actually pretty terrifying, and the makeup was outstanding as usual by Stan Winston. The Mummy and Gillman were pretty much character fillers but there were a couple of memorable scenes with both characters that I will not spoil. Next you have Dracula's brides which again, are pretty much fillers for the bad guys. And finally we have Frankenstein's monster. I leave the best for last because he pretty much stole the show. Tom Noonan is already a tall actor, but add on 3 or 4 inches to those platforms, and he towers over everyone in the movie. Especially the kids. His relationship with a 5 year old Phoebe was adorable and touching. It shows that love conquers hate. That relationship could create a whole other story in the movie but it concentrated on it just enough for us to love it but keep our focus on the task at hand.

As usual, there was a final battle in the centre of town and it certainly paid off. Again, no spoilers but I will say that almost everyone is involved in this showdown. Including Del, the father of the main kid, Shaun. Del is a cop and loving father but is also going through relationship problems with his wife, who was also the mother of Mikey and Brand in The Goonies (here we go again).

My final thoughts on the movie are, for the first monster universe movie, I would say they nailed it. This will not be the last time Black and Dekker will work together. They are currently working on Predators which will hit theatres next year. The movie had a solid cast and a great story. For an 82 minute movie, they certainly crammed a lot in and managed to leave out the complicated boring stuff. I first watched the movie in the early 90s with my family and I instantly fell in love with it. Fast forward over 25 years and I personally do not believe it has deteriorated or aged very much in terms of acting and story. Sure, you can tell it's old, but what do you expect with a 30 year old movie?

The movie had heart, action, horror and comedy. I now let my kids watch the movie (I know, bad parenting, yada yada yada) and they absolutely love it too. I would say it was fun for the whole family aside from the occasional swear word. There is violence but I don't recall a lot of, if any blood.

I have to score fair if I want to be considered a movie critic, so I will give my honest overall opinion on the movie.

I give The Monster Squad - 4/5 Nards!